Migrating…Queerness and My Dancing Brown Body
Who am I?
That's a question I've asked myself many times over the past years, but I'm still in the process of answering it. As with every artist, my life questions become creative themes of my artistic work. This project is interested in the practical and performative exploration of gayness/queerness, Chicano identity, sexuality, love, body dysmorphism, and the patriarchal impact on the queer POC* body.
Poem #3-05.08.2022
Embellish my words since they hold very little weight.
My skin pierces their sight.
20 20 vision.
I had no chance.
Thick thighs don’t save lives.
I’ve tried.
I carry this misconception to the bank. The check bounces.
Fuck.
My eggs lay in the basket that was just stolen.
Thieves!
Please count them before they hatch
Because I’m tempting fate with this game.
I’ve had a head start but I feel she is closing in.
Quick!
Get in.
We are going shopping.
Poem #2-04.08.2022
Real life.
Together works of love. Teach me how to swim.
My mind is constantly running,
But my heart seems to be asleep.
My body fails me clinging onto the ideal.
When reality begins to set in, she is hungry for magic.
Face pressed against the glass,
The condensation escapes into our dimension.
Take a step back and inhale.
Exhale.
Open your eyes.
Jump.
My belly moves from side to side.
Up and down.
My brown body enters the room before my name has a chance to.
What does it mean to have a dancer’s body?
Who decides which bodies have the right to train as professional dancers?
When I photographed myself it was important to show this body as a delicate flower; embracing more “feminine” poses so that the viewer has a chance to see the “aggressive brown body” as the delicate entity it actually is.
“He dances like a man, you should be like him!”
Micro-aggressions inside the dance studio are all too common occurrences. What are the practices in our profession that help uphold this patriarchal society?
In reality this research has allowed me to fall back in love with all the things I have tried to conceal from the world. My ongoing journey will continue leaning into my identities for artistic explorations; it is no longer helpful to shy away from bringing my political self onstage.
Special Thank You to, the #TakeHeart Recherförderung program apart of the Fonds Darstellende Künste and Neu Start Kultur initiative, for funding this artistic research.